i need a spiritual upheaval.

missing bethany as i speak. you know i always counted on bethany to uphold me in times like these. i'm about to face the one thing that might mean death to me. ok i might be over-exaggerating here, but i'm just thinking of worst case scenario here. university. for some it's a breeze and they manage to go in and come out clean. i'm just afraid of the other side, where worldly pressures from uni-life might work on me, and take me away from my walk of faith. personally i have no grudge against the sydney-bible presbytarian church i attend, but i don't really like it how the teen and youth programs are not held together much. one thing i do wanna note is that the size of sydney is huge compared to the accessibility of singapore and convienience of a one-hour ride at most to church. so that's one thing that can't be helped here. and because youth and teens are not held up strongly in the church, i feel that the teens and the youths of the church are very much alienated and brought along to church just cos their parents are there. not that the youths don't mind, rarely ever see them in church anyway. sigh. don't get it though, why segregate the youths and teens? why not combine them both and get a bigger lot of ppl, strength in numbers. and i don't like it how they choose songs with no reason. why not choose songs that actually relate to the message of the day? that'll further relate the message to the young ppl, so that they'll remember the message instead of just forgetting it totally.

i miss youth conferences and church camps. i miss looking forward to them. i miss attending them. i miss having structured group games where you actually feel like you're in camp rather than free time to do whatever you pleased, idle hands are the devil's tools. i miss the sense of community.

could someone send over a copy of a daily quiet time book where i can use for this year? i need spiritual food.

i really wish someone would come visit me.

i miss singapore.